Hungary - The Csaky Family
Hungary - The Csaky Family
The Csaky family’s journey to America was filled with struggles and challenges. But despite the hardships, they never let their culture die.
Susan Dischka Csaky, senior Kristof Csaky’s paternal grandmother, came to the United States in 1950 for a study abroad opportunity.
Her goal was to move back to Hungary after finishing her studies in about a year. Just one year.
But one day, Susan got a call from her mother. She was worried, afraid. Don’t come back, she told Susan. It’s not safe. The Soviets had taken over.
Although senior Kristof Csaky was born in America, he’s familiar with the culture of Hungary from the multiple trips he’s taken with his family. Growing up in Dallas, Kristof and his sister learned Hungarian as their first language, and then later learned English.
“In Middle and Lower School we went back to Hungary every year,” Kristof said. “Before that, before we were even in school, we probably stayed there for several years.”
Kristof’s mother Eva has a better memory of Hungary. Born and raised there, she left the country after finishing college to start a new life in America. She received a scholarship from George Washington University and moved to Washington D.C., but memories from her time in Hungary have stuck with her through the years.
“As a child, I don’t think you think about it very much,” Eva said. “We had these Communist Youth Organizations that were mandatory to be a part of. There was a special necktie you had to wear, and we had to do quasi-military exercises. I had to learn how to shoot a gun.”
After World War II ended, Russia occupied much of Eastern Europe, including Hungary. Russia attempted to force its social, political and economic views on the Hungarians, but the people rebelled in 1956, launching the country into chaos. Even though the Soviet Army regained control, Hungary eventually became a free country, rid of communism, in 1991. Eva grew up in Hungary when it was occupied by the Soviets.
“Our parents did a good job of sheltering us from the nasty side of things,” Eva said. “We never questioned it. It was just natural that a portrait of Lenin was hanging on the wall in my classroom, in every classroom.”
Eva may have been shielded from most of the occupation as a child, but her parents felt the full force of the regime. She never asked her parents why they decided to remain in Hungary during the regime, although she suspects they felt emotionally tied to their home. Their lives were very different in Hungary than they would have been had they left with Eva when she was young.
“My father refused to become a member of the Communist Party, so our apartment was [raided],” Eva said. “That was just part of the Soviet regime. They were listening in on people they didn’t trust. It was like a police state. There was quite a bit of human rights violations.”
Eva’s parents decided they wanted to stay in Hungary regardless, but Kristof’s paternal grandparents made a different decision after World War II many years earlier. In 1949, they immigrated to America separately under the Displacement Acts of 1948. Unfortunately, Eva’s parents did not have the same options when it came to escaping the Communist regime.
“Whenever [my father] left the country, the authorities took my mother’s passport so that they wouldn’t risk him staying [in another country],” Eva said.
When she moved to D.C., the first thing Eva noticed was the sheer volume of “stuff” in every direction she looked.
“It wasn’t uncommon during communism that there was a shortage of products,” Eva said. “Going into an American store that had thousands and thousands of stuff, there was a huge contrast. The difference was overwhelming.”
After graduating from George Washington University, Eva married Kristof’s father Karl, and they moved to Dallas to start a family. In the time the Csaky family has lived in Dallas, they have found several communities that celebrate the Hungarian culture.
“Washington D.C., where we used to live, was a much larger Hungarian community and it congregated around the embassy,” Eva said. “Here, the Cistercian School’s founding monks were Hungarian refugees who escaped in 1956. That’s where the Hungarian community congregates, but it’s a lot smaller here.”
When Eva reminisces on her childhood in Hungary, she recalls many hardships her family had to endure. But for Kristof and his sister, Hungary has only been a peaceful place—a central location for gathering with family and enjoying each other’s company. And in a Hungarian household, the best place to congregate is at the dinner table.
“Our grandmother cooks for us everyday,” Kristof said. “It’s all this great food, and then we go and walk around the streets and go to restaurants and hang out with our younger cousins and uncle and aunt. It’s a great time to go back during the summer.”
One of the most frequent meals served at the Csaky household in Hungary is, without a doubt, Chicken Paprikash. The dish is composed of small chunks of chicken layered over a base of some type of pasta. But above all, the dish is unique because of its generous use of paprika, a spice often used in Hungarian cuisine.
“It’s probably the most traditional Hungarian dish,” Eva said, “So it has that kind of cultural context. It’s the kind of dish that people will make for Sunday lunch when the family is together. It has that kind of cultural and emotional context.”
Kristof and his family try to visit their family in Hungary at least once every year, Whenever Kristof and his sister are able to visit though, they usually spend about a month at the apartment they have in Budapest. Above all, the Csaky family values their heritage and how lucky they are to be able to call two places home.
“You can think of it as having multiple homes,” Eva said. “You will always have your biological families at home: your cousins, uncles and grandparents. But obviously, we have a home here in the United States. I feel very fortunate because we have these multiple lives and multiple homes.”